out of something

monday i was out of town half the day, tuesday i found out i'd be headed out thurs for a day trip to puerto rico, and today i worked late. with all this coming and going, there is this interesting vibe going this week, where i feel like i'm living a rather different life than i usually do. maybe it was renting that quirky convertible, maybe it's reading hawthorne, but certainly it's been fun.

a little less glimmer

dear all mobile phone manufacturers,

blue-lit keys are just done. completely done. i'm sure there's a few people who still buy for that feature alone; try having one option for them at least. or three.

dug up for the day

i think a while ago i was almost going to see the high dials live. i'm thinking it's got something to do with the fact that they once opened for neko case. i'm guessing they'd be impressive live; from my recollection i didn't make it for the opener. that was much more ok than the time i didn't realize it was the elected who were the openers for the magic numbers. i missed half the elected's set and hated the magic numbers. i was interviewed and photographed for this piece, and i'm pretty sure my photo came out most awful. i'm guessing they spotted me in the crowd because i was wearing mj's old blue ski hat with double pom poms and the ear flaps that tie at the bottom. it sits way high on my head since it's so small; the effect is pretty comical.

that was so so easy

since my last post, i have applied for a job at a university registrar's office. i am going to keep doing this until i get an offer. perhaps i should consider other departments as well.

underheard

had a hilarious time at the store. ran into a friend who made fun of me for talking quietly about church by pretending i was talking really loudly. he shouted 'and i pay my tithing too' to illustrate how 'loud' i was being. his girlfriend heard from halfway across the store...when we walked over, she asked when we were going to stop embarrassing her. later, there was some joke about the $29.99 can of foie gras being such a good deal because the other one was $10 more. i said, pretty loudly, 'where's the vegan foie gras?' at some later point i got to saying all sorts of nonsense as if i really meant it, which really amused an old couple in the elevator. i'm not sure if they thought i was joking or not.

rooms

i just realized that for most of the past two years, i've been lucky to share a room with someone who happens to be on a fairly different sleep schedule that me. i sleep heavy, so it doesn't matter that the guys working late come home after i'm in bed; on most nights i won't even wake up. when i do, i fall asleep again immediately. sharing a room is a great way to save money; it's not easy all the time of course. funny thing is, i had a single room for a significant amount of time in college and my parents were concerned that i was going to miss out on the important life lessons to be had from living with a roommate. well, years later, i'm still living with roommates and sharing a bedroom even...and there seem to be plenty of lessons i have yet to master.

songs of the week, wk 11

-'the minaret'

-'century estates'

-'phantom limb'

-'father william'


i discovered some rather decent music in a lost corner of yesterday. fresh doesn't have to be new in the sense of newly acquired. this week, fresh was new in the sense of rediscovered. there was also a great song by the places that is motivating me to check out some more amy annelle once the budget allows. i was getting the places and the pieces mixed up, so the song totally blew me away in its subtlety and depth. don't get me wrong, the pieces deserve some song of the week some week, but their corner of yesterday is even more remote than the one that 'phantom limb' had inhabited.

advantage: mediocrity

let's say you have a wide range of interests but are not particularly skilled at anything. this may seem frustrating at times. it is, surprisingly, a real advantage in making the right friends. people who take interest in what you are trying to accomplish, and people who make sincere efforts to help are the ones you should befriend.

not so clever

one time i had this girl's email address from a message she'd sent to a large list of people. at the time, i wanted her phone number and was planning to ask her out. i wrote her and said:

"i find myself in rather desperate need of your phone number"

she gave it to me. i called her. when we went out, she asked:

"how did you get my email address?"

i'm not sure why i thought it made a difference whether i got her number by emailing her or some other way.

chaos

recently, my loft bed was equipped with a real mattress. i would tell interesting stories, but those take more time. as mattresses go, this one is fairly excellent. a couple things have resulted. one, thanks to my goal of reading more in the evenings, i have a comfortable place to lie down with a good book. two, increased comfort has affected my desire to get up in the mornings. three, less clearance between my bed and the ceiling makes sitting up an occasionally precarious action. four, retrieving objects from the far end of the bed has become much more difficult. five, at least one roommate can no longer see me when i'm up here; the angle is too steep now. needless to say, the bed has brought more change thus far than the vanderslice tracks. those are excellent; the bed scores lower on the scale of beds but higher on the scale of life impact.

email tips

don't close with:

"sincerest warmth"

part of my lunch

the cupcakes have had a short yet interesting life:

did you know you can't buy unlimited cupcakes in one go? co-worker learned the hard way:

"There was a 2 dozen limit, so first come, first served. Sorry, I asked to speak to the manager for an exception to the 2 dozen rule, and the cupcake-serving-woman said 'You’re speaking to her.'"

thus it was first-come, first-served cupcakes in the office this afternoon. we stood around eyeing them, waiting for someone to make a move. everyone was told they were just two flavors - chocolate and vanilla. it was a matter of appearance. i had my eye on the least colorful cupcake in the box, no one took it, but the words didn't quite come out the way i'd intended:

'i want this lonely cupcake that's the only one of its type'


i am banning myself from camera obscura for the rest of the day.

the best time of the half decade

i will say, presidential campaigns are sweet because, if nothing else, they provide a great way to buy union-made clothing. sure, maybe it costs a little more than usual, but some of the shirts are pretty clever. thank you, ron paul.

oh, btw, dennis kucinich: there's no point having a plain hoodie if you aren't putting a zip hoodie on as well.

hotel you

i heard a fantastic idea this weekend. for houseguests, possibly excluding family, charge $25 a night. it gives people something to think about - do they really want to spend the money - and potentially reduces your rent for the month. it's also a fairly reasonable fee. i think it works just as a way to make it more their decision whether they can commit to staying at your place. that might not make sense.

in other news, heard some antlers today and liked it. it was just one song. more to follow perhaps.

deal with it

i was very fortunate to remember i had a couple songs to download. if you could choose anything, and you wanted to pick something that you liked, from an artist you are only just learning about, and avoid getting stuff you can easily get elsewhere, what would you get? yeah, it's a difficult question. yes, it was me who made it hard for myself. i rose to the occasion, even though i got something i'd already heard. i picked a couple tracks from the latest john vanderslice.

'the minaret'

'numbered lithograph'

the proper use of holiday free time

it seems that spending a large amount of time off with relatives over the holidays can be hazardous for more than a few reasons. there is always the opportunity to get into silly arguments about things that don't matter. there's the risk of getting really really lazy and sleeping endlessly, a habit that will bring only sadness when work or school demands return in january. however, the big surprise is the pure boredom that comes from living in a house where many types of entertainment are severely frowned upon, and simultaneously being excluded from the big projects that are happening. fortunately, a large amount of edible christmas presents provide me with some entertaining challenges as i try to eat my way to a manageable load of luggage for my return trip.

the wearable atlas of clothing: shoes for males

shoes are one of the most important elements of any outfit. for one thing, you need two of them. generally speaking, you don't need two pair of pants, two t-shirts, two hats, or two watches. now, certain people make clever use of this fact by bucking the general trend. shoes, however, are the only thing you absolutely need two of, other than socks. you wouldn't need two socks if you didn't need two shoes.

today, i will go through the general categories of shoes necessary to be an excellent human being, if you are male.

first: sneakers
don't let anyone deceive you. sneakers are more important than anything. they can be worn with anything, and often can be worn in the modern workplace. please make sure you have the following:

-1 pr slip-on, preferably with an attractive design.
if you need to ask why, please don't. just get the shoes.

-1 pr running shoes designed in the 1980s, date of manufacture unimportant

-1-2 pr oddly colored or designed shoes.
these are impractical, and need not fit particularly well. ideal for parties.

-1 pr that looks as non-sneaker-like as possible.
for wear in snooty workplaces

-high performance athletic shoes as necessary given your sporting life.

-optional: one pair skate shoes, preferably somewhat non-huge-looking, preferably slip-on or velcro

second: casual shoes
if you do well here, you may not ever need dress shoes. you need these for the workplace, to keep them honest. maybe they think you wear sneakers every single day, but try to prove them wrong.

-1 pr slip-on.
if you ever travel, you will thank me for insisting on this.

-1 pr brown.
essential when masquerading as a preppy, or if you want to look good for a date. my old roommate insists you can wear jeans on a date and look like you dressed up if your shoes are nice

-1 pr black, possibly shiny.
this is where you can eliminate the need for dressier shoes. note that more than 2 pr casual shoes is absolutely unnecessary. do what you wish.

-optional: one pr oddly colored or patterned casuals.
maybe you can't wear sneakers to the workplace, but can they stop you from wearing pinstriped loafers? much less likely

third: boots etc
those who live in snowy climes or have an affinity for the outdoors will appreciate this one.

-1 pr sturdy hikers.
good for snow or the mountain trail. not absolutely necessary if you are clever/cheap/don't mind wet feet.

-1 pr flip flops.
you can't imagine how many places you might use these

-1 pr serious athletic-type sandals.
hey, some people really like them. why not?

fourth: dress shoes
i used to own a pair of these.
i think i lost them.

-1 pr shiny black.
likely uncomfortable and only useful for formal occasions. some of us got tuxes for christmas, you know.

songs of the week, wk 10

-'william harry holmes'

-'i could be dreaming'

new years is supposed to be about changes. i'm bringing change, big time, whether i like it or not. if things go the way i plan, that is.

spoiled

i am visiting relatives for the holidays, which leads me to the following thoughts:

how can i survive a week and a half with no cool shoes?

why is it that they have the worst showerhead in the world, and how can i put up with it?

why can people make such a big deal out of you accepting their suggestions and then blow yours off in seconds? am i too nice? do i need better excuses?

the christmas trader

would you rather have...

216 sticks of sugarless minty gum


or


a 2008 paper airplane a day calendar

bowl-a-whirl

not only was our holiday part at a bowling alley, we had a running competition and my team won 2 out of 3 times...ok, the last game wasn't finished but we were dominating and they had 3 bowlers left on the last frame. one had just rolled a spare or a strike, but they weren't going to beat us. i had 121, and i was 3rd on my team of 5...and that's a good score for this group.

my rounds:

90
72
99
123

i have apparently somewhat overcome my inability to bowl anything respectable. i had a strike on my 9th frame in that last game and then bowled a 3, so i was just doing way better than i had all night. actually, the first game i started strike-strike and had 42 points in the first 3 frames.

i also came away from this with 216 sticks of gum, all the same flavor. they smell good.

songs of the week, wk 9

-'twenty days'

-'the men who live upstairs'

-'it's not'


i could try to make a point about all of this, but suffice it to say that i listened to some new music this week, some of which was good and some of which was nothing special. here's to the fact that many of us can also make music that is at least somewhat interesting.

snowr

i came home late from a long and extremely fun day of painting. not only did i learn what chartreuse looks like, i got to do something useful for my friends. on the way out the door, with my hooded sweatshirt and jeans, i found that it was snowing/sleeting all over. unfortunately, i was stuck with more walking than usual, but despite the slipperiness of my shoes and the surprising number of slopes in my path, i made it fine. since i'd already smacked my knee hard on some sharp furniture, i wss hoping i could get home without falling and making more parts of my leg hurt.

no, i really wasn't

i was browsing around a major retailer's website today, looking for some music that c might like for christmas, and this hilarious/intriguing link popped up at the side - 'the independent sound you've been searching for...' now, i wsa listening to whiting tennis on half-broken headphones, so if i was searching for something, it definitely wasn't an independent sound. i didn't just click on the link to laugh at anyone or be snotty, i was somewhat hoping to see a well-written description of what 'the independent sound' was according to that particular retailer. what i got was simply a link to their partner site specializing in independent music.

there's nothing else

christmas update:

r - done
j - done
c - done
h
g - done


hooray for word of mouth and online shopping. now, of course, i can swap these around a bit if necessary, because some of the gifts are versatile...but the key is that i've got almost everyone covered now, and it's time to get creative and see what else i can manage to find.

i went to (i think) my first christmas party of the year last night. it was a good time. i stayed way too long and said ridiculous stuff, but probably i wasn't enough over the top to make it worthwhile. will have to work on that...next time.

christmas update

it has been my goal, for quite some time, to get the christmas shopping done early. well, after a long time browsing one particular chain this evening, the score stands:

r
j - done
c
h
g - done (very possibly, i'll get him more stuff too)

might end up wanting/needing to find stuff for others as well, but those are the main characters. h is usually the toughest, by reckoning of most involved, but i'm just glad i got something for j already that's exciting. c can be tough also, if you want to be frugal. r is easy to please. g is the simplest to shop for. i bought his present months ago.

another day in the sun

i woke up feeling completely awful today, and didn't go to work. it's been a long time since i've been sick this frequently; i can't really remember a time when i got sick every week or two. i did make the most of my time, in the sense of doing nothing at all and trying to relax and get myself rested up for tomorrow. i ate lots of healthy food, or i hope i did, and maybe in the morning i'm going to feel fantastic again.

i keep wondering, actually, if i have just worn myself down to the point that i can't function or something. hopefully the forced rest, for the third time now, will get me back on my feet for longer than a couple weeks.

this will take some working through

my challenge: write a song with the lyric 'i'm tired of investing in twin size comforters'

it's actually going to be part of the chorus:


i'm tired of investing in twin size comforters
but you're tired of changing wet sheets


i was thinking of staring something like:

paul drives a minivan with empty back seats
there's no way he'll sell it for now
wasting some gas is a small price to pay
to be ready for settling down
seven cupholders, an armrest or two
no dvd player or sliding sunroof
perfect upholstery tell me the truth,
was he joking when he bought that thing?

john's got four records, a beat-up guitar
and photos of him in tehran
three of the records are spencer krug bands
the other's his girl from the choir
i took her once to a game or a show
the difference is lost on us all
she had the band but john wrote the songs
recording was never so hard

i'm tired of investing in twin size comforters
but you're tired of changing wet sheets
we need to ask is there something we've done
or just life meant we'd end up such freaks

stacy and lucy aren't talking that much
to me or to either of them
one of those nights it all came out wrong
no one forgot anything
we lost our youth to a four hour fight
what became of a friendship that started so great
i think it was honesty, if we'd had more
time would have healed those wounds


clearly this is going to be hard, and i don't have a decent tune in my head for this, which is going to make it harder than usual.

songs of the week, wk 8

-seaweed

-the cowshed

-ready to go

-piazza, new york catcher

-song of our so-called friends


this past week brought a bit of a renaissance. it might not have felt like this was coming, especially wednesday when i was starting to think no one cared about this stuff. by the end of the week, not only was i listening to more music, i got my music system to behave better than it usually does. last night i fell asleep to a playlist including many of the above songs; there was something of a cohesive spirit in the selections.

i was trying to point out that everyone has their quirks

so i said something funny and it was noted. this happened a long time ago, and i'm sure i'd heard about it before last night. i wonder why i'm enjoying this so much.

it would be bold

there aren't a lot of things i could say that would be significant enough to warrant caution. the ones that are don't necessarily ever make it out of my head.

how many times do i need to say it?

jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor. jennifer o'connor.

songs of the week, wk 7

-'a voice through the wall'

-'slipping through the sensors'

snow today. i looked out the window and was surprised how the diagonal drifting streaks of snow made me happy just for a moment. rain followed; rain has its own magic, but on a day when fallen snow is fading into dirty slush, drops of rain are a disappointment.

a breather

i could use a break from bad writing week, so here's just some general stuff. i've realized that i don't discover music any more. i mean, i haven't listened to random bands on the web at all in the past month, maybe more. songs of the week is going nowhere if it's just going to be an exploration of my back catalog, because i don't want to listen to a whole ton of that stuff right now. i'm not putting any time into it, and i probably won't. i do promise to keep the whole farce up until i can't stand it any more.

i've been thinking about high school a fair amount recently. i was laughing at this guy a lot for suggesting he had a rough time in high school. i realized finally that the issue isn't how popular or socially adept you were. sounds like he probably scored better at both of those than me. the key is, i was happier. at least, i was happier than he wants us to believe he was
for the stretch he describes there. there were things of course that were awkward about high school, but i think that despite all of it, i was fine with who i was and not excessively bothered by other people's opinions of me. y'all can beg to differ at will.

i have barely been to any movies lately. movies are where my taste tends most towards the mainstream. or, where my choices tend most towards the mainstream. i think at times i wanted to go and there was nothing. fingers crossed there's something i want to see still.

the inside of the car

the pedals were all wrong. it was like one of those dreams where you get what you want - in this case a stolen car, the one you really wanted - and nothing's right about it. nick had no worries of this sort. he was in the back seat. kirk said nothing and kept driving. a sinisterly looming car drifted towards them from the other lane, the one going in the opposite direction. it's physics; the force of impact would be maximized as they were directly opposite each other. nick said nothing. kirk flinched, or wanted to; sweat was already beading up on his forehead, but now he didn't know what to do. how could you drive a stolen car across three states if you weren't capable of passing one oncoming car without breaking a sweat? that was the sort of question nick might ask. he was in the backseat, head half turned, apparently humming softly to himself.

clerk: i'd like to get a mix

what's happened to pancakes?

he leaned out the window, wondering where that sentence would fit. a car drove by. soot from his boots stained the floor underneath the table, but he didn't care. caring was for mothers, or hijackers; people with ideas. he wasn't much for ideas, since bruce moved out. bruce the idea guy. it actually sounded funny. the one with the suede pants. mark tied his shoes and got up, effortlessly stretching his legs one by one as his well-worn chair squeaked back behind him.

bruce was done with this laundry stuff. two driers, three washers, and $7.50 in quarters. he'd rather have his $10 back. oh, so there were 10 more in his back pocket, but that would have to do. he took sacks, took clothes, hefted them out the door. a nineteen ninety five import sedan quivered down the road across the street. didn't someone used to drive one of those?

bad writing week

in honor of all sorts of things, we undertake bad writing week. in which we will not say anything much at all.

songs of the week, wk 6

-'throw it all away'

most of the stuff i own that i wish i was listening to has gone missing. most of the stuff i own that hasn't gone missing isn't interesting me in the slightest at the moment. there's always something, however.

who's the fool

i was on tv a few years ago. i'd totally forgotten about this, but some morning show on a local channel in one of the east coast population centers had me on there promoting the company at the time. it came back to me when i was reading about a washed-up tv host and the lame people he had on his show. the big feature that day was apparently some type of back-to-school fashion show where they would have kids of all school-type ages parade around in their favorite clothes. maybe they were their parents' favorite clothes, but these were basically some seriously well-cared-for children whose attentive parents made a bit of a spectacle.

in the end, i decided the hosts were completely dense. i had some people with me; i'm pretty sure i didn't have the woman from our pr firm then, but she was within 10 years of my age and talked to me like an equal. this is nice when you're in your first job out of college. at the tv thing, i knew going in that i was supposed to be talking up our upcoming promotion and that there was a trivia question people could answer if they wanted to win something. no one from the show prepped me before i went on, but i'd done several radio appearances already. everything seemed totally fine until one of the hosts asked me the magic question. i answered it; what the heck else was i supposed to do? they were interviewing me and just threw that in with all the other stuff. i had no clue what else i should have done, and the woman apologized to me afterwards, saying it was too bad i hadn't known that was the prize-winning question. i had known; i just hadn't understood why they were asking me the question when the viewers were supposed to answer it.

when i thought about it today, i realized today that she must have expected me to launch into some kinda 'oh, well, i can't answer that but if any of you viewers care to find out, you can tell us and win a prize' type thing. i guess i'm the bigger idiot because i should have figured it out on the spot, but it would have taken so little preparation beforehand to get things straight. don't tv people go over anything with their guests before putting them on the air? still, now i feel like i could have been a bit less dim.

the morning after

no milk, sick again, and the charger for my mobile phone's gone missing. i think the over-zealous cleanup effort for the t-day party at my house is to blame. is it possible someone would take an electrical adapter that was actually plugged in to an outlet and simply throw it out? you never know when you live with guys.

i had four or five kinds of pie yesterday; all were rather yummy. i wonder if thanksgiving shouldn't be made into a dessert tasting festival and nothing more. it might take up less time, which perhaps would ruin the whole thing. it's not so much the occasion of thanksgiving that's special per se, it's the fact that you can go over to your friends' house and spend 5 hours lingering over food, games and conversation and that's what everyone expects. or maybe it's the fact that you know everyone else is doing the same thing and that they've crisscrossed the country getting together in arrangements that are all different and yet serve the same purpose. but it just might be the fact that you've done it before the last year and the year before that and every year growing up and you know everyone else has and it's something you want to relive or escape or make better or start over on your own terms. in other words, it's a tradition.

some more italy

maybe i didn't photograph anything in italy, but i saw and thought about plenty. i even wrote in my journal. it isn't most vacations that get me writing in there while i'm still on vacation.

in italy, i couldn't stop thinking about germany, especially riding the trains. german infrastructure is nice, clean, and well-made. italy's modern buildings, trains, bridges, etc do not fit those adjectives. one bridge had an unusual feature; there was a giant tubular hole designed into each of the supporting columns. this was unique, as was the bush growing out of the side of the bridge. subway cars were coated in so much graffiti that some of them looked kinda nice that way. they looked like props from a movie where the criminals have taken over the city. buildings, the more modern ones, looked like they might have been shot at. really, though, the crumbling architecture was charming and showed more character than crumbling architecture in, say, ljubljana. in spite of all this, what i really thought was that germany was probably never going to seem interesting enough any more. in st. peter's, the giant lettering alone amazed me. german cathedrals, which seem to be a main point of visiting the country, cannot measure up. the germans don't have ancient aqueducts, coliseums, or ruins. i figure germany must have had something to ruin back then. maybe i'll see it some day.

songs of the week, wk 5

-'victoria'

sometimes, you must turn to the oldest of friends, and the oldest of friends turn out to be the best. it's been a musical desert lately, but i'm not starving for anything other than fresh tunes. i didn't take any music with me on vacation anyway.

these are my pictures from italy

yeah, there are none. i will paint some pictures with words once i get the time to gather my thoughts. i'm in an awesome mood since my return.

in form of apology

there's a reason there were no songs of the week the past couple weeks. two reasons. first, i haven't loaded anything new onto the portable device. thus, no new music, no new songs, no variety, little chance for something excitingly fresh to strike my fancy. i think nothing really deserved to be on there. i also went on vacation to a country where they put up with a lot of surprisingly bad pizza. they really don't have to. i suppose we don't either.

stick up for yourselves! insist on better pizza.

an open letter to my shoes

i'm sorry if i hurt you by stuffing feet that were a little too big or small down your throats. i really have this idea that i'm going to buy shoes that fit, but sometimes i just like you so much i have to take you even if you're a little too big or too small. many of the places you came from didn't give me a chance to try you on first, and our relationship began out of necessity - i had bought you, and i needed to get what i could out of you.

you really do mean a lot to me. on the best days, you brighten my every step. i like to look down and think how much you're doing to improve the way i look. i hope when other people look at me, they'll see that you're with me and know that i've got the right idea. even if we don't get to share as many days as i'd like, you're still a big part of my life.

songs of the week, wk 4

-'the bleeding heart show'

here's to hot chocolate that's almost too cool to drink. here's the the smell of wool sweaters and coats. here's to blankets that reach all the way to your feet, long socks, and exercise, which takes us to a place where we can handle fall without any of those things. let's fall back down on the coach and imagine mike skinner and daniel smith working on a musical version of the ten commandments.

why does it go this way?

the list of concerts i've skipped has grown so long that i can't even remember why i missed some of this past month's shows. what does this mean? it means a couple of things. one, i enjoy the people i associate with and they don't necessarily go to things. two, even though i apparently have enough free time to think about why i'm missing shows, there are times when i have to make tough choices. three, i don't always prioritize.

grease, it's the grease

since we're talking about lunches:

-irish nachos (bacon on the side)
french fries smothered in cheese with sour cream and a side of bacon. amazing food really; it makes the slow service at one favorite lunch spot almost worthwhile

-grilled cheese with tomato
generous and tasty tomato; a little salty but classic, with american cheese. more fries on the side, many of which i ate.

-dessert was saved until 5

halloween lunch

i expect this halloween won't measure up to last year, but i had a memorable lunch:

frozen slush drink - raspberry with cherry
-the performance part of my office costume basically requires i visit a convenience store. raspberry was excellent; the cherry portion seemed to be fermented

triple-chocolate cake
-purchased yesterday; rather tasty well-chilled

carrot muffin
-brought in by a co-worker; so delightful i ate all of the frosting

pumpkin pie
-also bought yesterday; wonderfully authentic pumpkin flavor and surprisingly good crust

cheese-flavored snack mix
-from a co-worker; good variety of ingredients and excellent interplay between cheese flavor and slightly sweet cereal bits

songs of the week, wk 4

-'the moth'

-'it's not'

-'rocky dennis' farewell song'

let's enjoy some toast on the front steps and hope ac newman decides to take up a musical correspondence with gillian welch. meanwhile, fall deepens, holidays approach, and wardrobes everywhere shift in accordance with the former. here's to rivers filled with drifting yellow leaves.

still funny

i don't care how long this has been there, i still love it:

www.safetyschool.org

sleep 2, concerts 0

i had two opportunities to see the same show. didn't go to either. not enough sleep. so sad how these things work out sometimes.

herbal?

one of the biggest problems i have, which never goes away, is that my phone runs out of memory for text messages. today it told me i had a message waiting. i deleted some stuff and two messages showed up. both were important. just now i decided to remove some more junk. i had over a dozen unsent messages. one was to a friend i hadn't seen in 2 years who is in town and had called. now i know why she didn't text back. then there was one i cannot at all explain. just one word: tea.

second arm

i like to buy a lot of clothing second hand, it makes sense, i've mentioned this before. the problem, of course, is it's harder to find things that fit extremely well. a good proportion of the shirts i wear to work are from thrift shops. the long-sleeved ones usually are a bit short in the arms, so hopefully that doesn't bother people. i guess i figure it's just not worth spending serious money on workplace attire. i am frequently given shirts for christmas, maybe because my family members don't think i ever buy new ones, but these don't always fit well either. it's a shame, isn't it?

let's hear it for ego

i'm not a fan of extreme self-importance. however, there are times when it can be handy to observe your surroundings and say, 'is there a reason for the thing i see here?' in doing so, one important perspective to consider is whether it might be all (or mostly) about you. the egotist's perspective is useful at times. of course, that might sound crazy.

songs of the week, wk 4

-'if you're feeling sinister'

-'black water child'

-'guys like me'

-'seeing other people'

variety in my musical diet continues to rest at an extreme low. i'm not sure how i'm surviving, but i am in fact having a great time. maybe it's the books. while i think about who i'm going to welcome into my musical life, let's wish for a postal service 4: rufus wainwright and regine chassagne

sweet

i'm up on the loft right now, reading and listening to one of the songs of the week. the important thing is, i am hearing it through speakers, through the stereo speakers that are so rarely able to play in stereo. it's amazing. i'm lying here wondering why the heck i didn't go see this guy live last week, but a little research and some recollection of what i was up to reminds me that i missed the concert for a very important reason. i missed it because i procrastinated an extremely important responsibility. in the moment, i made the right decision, but the lack of initiative over a six month period prevented me from going to see what should have been an outstanding performance. the album's good though, and i'm still listening to one of the best tracks.

seasonal adjustments

i've finally gotten back in the habit of wearing long-sleeved shirts to the office. wait, that's no longer correct. the long-sleeved-shirt every day phase lasted maybe two weeks? now we've gotten to one of those weird phases where the temperature inside the office requires careful preparation. today i started wearing a zip hoodie over a polo to the office every day. the thing is, there'll be some day two months from now where i'll be taking off sweaters and jackets until i really want to just pull on a short-sleeved shirt. well, just so happens that i wore that polo to work today but didn't want to wear it straight over to institute.

two pears up on a branch. one horseshoe.

i will be a little cruel

sorry people, it's late and i'm in a critical mood.

the power and the glory
-graham greene
my least favorite part of this book was the opening scene. i suppose that's good. i loved reading this because it wasn't trashy. so much modern literature drags us through the muck because it's supposed to be good for us. here instead is the story of a nearly fallen priest on the run from socialists in mexico.


the twenty-seventh city
-jonathan frantzen
an indian woman takes over st. louis in 1986. why st. louis? she and frantzen may have chosen the city for the same reason...anyway, the communist undertones are lost on me; i was never afraid of the communists growing up. i'm going to assume that frantzen is older than me, otherwise he might have had to try harder to figure out how to make the tension of the communist angle work...i'm totally giving him the benefit of the doubt that it does so for an older audience. by the end of the book, i hated both her and the man she's trying to undermine in her power grab. i enoyed reading this book. there were parts i found myself skipping or wishing i'd been able to skip because they were corrupting my innocent mind, but maybe the problem is that i'm reading too many male authors. i think that even nice guys are tempted to think the rest of the male population is more superficial than they are, so that they need to make sure to objectify women. so many brands in this book are made up, though clearly based on reality, that i have to wonder if the brands that survive in the narrative are actually financing frantzen's new house or something. i think i've heard that paid product placement happens in litereature. that's ok, every other type of media does it.

stranger's gate
-tom casey
i found something in the prose of the first 20 pages of this book to be so awful that i laughed out loud. i have a hard time giving casey credit for writing a story about a macho pilot. when you are a macho pilot, it doesn't take much to do that. his protagonist's understanding of romance seems to be of junior high-level maturity, and i can't say that there's any proof the author is any different. the saddest part is, there's a fair amount of relationship stuff in here; our red-meat protagonist actually spends a lot of time reflecting on relationship issues. what we seem to get is a character who thinks he understands a lot about women and the challenges of making things work emotionally and romantically, and that character is written by an author who doesn't understand these things. so tom, you capture some good piloting drama at times, but your author friends think a lot more highly of you than i do, so i assume this won't hurt much. seriously though, this book seems pretty awful. anyone up for the challenge of proving me wrong?

sources

i was extremely happy on monday, and i can't really say why. maybe it was because i finished the onerous task that occupied me virtually all of friday night and saturday. i was just about to leave family home evening early, when i paused to talk to a friend who observed that i seemed to be in a really good mood. i was in an excellent mood, the sort of mood that should have a clear explanation. or should it?

songs of the week, wk 3

-'lunar sea'

-'fox in the snow'


no way around it, change has to come eventually and change came this past week. here's another bit of wishful thinking; a never-to-happen postal service 3: rhett miller and jennifer o'connor.

things i didn't do 18 months ago

-sing out loud, spontaneously, at work

-answer questions with vague generalisms like 'stuff'

-eat vegetarian

-frequently consume commercially produced smoothies

-say 'it's cool' all the time

-put cream cheese on bagels

-go to the library (i didn't even have a valid card)

praise for: store-bought cookies

cookies from the store exist in their own reality. in the world they have constructed, a cookie tastes the same, pretty much always. it can sit around for a relatively long time, and it still tastes exactly like the one you first took out of the package tasted. see, store bought cookies are never truly fresh, so it's impossible for us to notice the difference brought on by a week or two. they're engineered for maximum shelf life, and consistent taste during that life. the genius of store-bought cookies, however, is that they have set up their position in our lives so effectively that they're really only competing against other varieties and brands of commecial cookies. they can't hold a candle to a decent home-made cookie, but who makes those anymore? i grew up on cookies baked by my mother, who may or may not be willing to admit she'd be scandalized to learn the sorts of cookies i eat today. when i don't make myself dinner, why would i bake cookies?

buried

this morning, i found serious damage to the makeshift wall one co-worker has constructed out of empty boxes of fruit snacks. since i had an overstuffed box of the same fruit snacks, i emptied it out and let him use it to rebuild his diminutive barrier. now, i have a drawer full of fruit snacks. of course, i had a drawer full of fruit snacks before. the question is, are they going to stay on my mind simply because they're no longer in a box, or will i forget about them? does the lack of a proper container fix them more firmly in my mind?

not eating fruit snacks today.

is there a moment

when a person stops developing ideas that change his/her view of the world? i'm not sure i want to find it. having chosen a college major focused in 'non-western' culture, i've had the privilege of learning a lot less than enough about a couple of different places. there's the one where i grew up, and whose literary treasures i largely ignored in an effort to gain some comprehension of the depths i can't fathom in another cultural sea.

i was thinking about the word 'unfathomable' last night or maybe the night before. i have always used it as a proxy for 'deep,' but if we truly cannot fathom something, we have no idea how shallow it might be either...like a pool of water glinting in the sun that gives no indication of its depth, though we may rationally assume it to be no deeper than a few inches. once we've moved the word 'unfathomable' to the figurative, its meaning is not tied to the act of dropping a line to gauge depth. something unfathomable is something we have no means of measuring, despite all the tools we think should tell us the truth.

songs of the week, wk 2

'john saw that number'

'a call to arms'

'the new face of zero and one'

'the bleeding heart show'

'twin cinemas'


i pretty much listen to the same stuff over and over again. i just added a bunch to the library, so perhaps next week's list will show more variety. no promises. i think neko case could be in a few more bands. maybe she could be in the postal service 2. neko case and...i dunno...jean-benoit dunckel. it could work.

sleep is outdated

it doesn't seem to matter how much junk you eat after skipping meals, they just make you pay for missing them. it's like there's a meal union that goes on strike if you miss meals. all the nutrients in food you eat afterward refuse to cross the picket line.

professional tip for the week

when in meetings, make sure you behave properly when your computer is hooked up to a projector for all to see. no one wants to watch you read your email while you're not in a part of the main conversation.

note: i personally did not commit this offense.

gone a bit stale

the sea, the sea
-iris murdoch

a few pages into this book, i was loving it. a few more have passed, and i'm growing tired of the narrator. this extroardinarily first-person tale has, thus far, been a charmingly idiosyncratic description of the protagonist's new home and surroundings. the joke is getting a bit old, and i'm ready for some characters other than the sea and the man who lives by it.

songs of the week

5. 'windowsill'

4. 'elephant gun'

3. 'that teenage feeling'

2. 'miss teen wordpower'

1. 'july jones'

. 'from blown speakers'



....and it's very nice when two of your favorite songs are consecutive on the same album. whoever said they didn't like 'the electric version' just doesn't agree with me i guess.

album of the week is 'wincing the night away,' for nostalgic reasons. i need to buy it, for the same reasons.

a measure of redemption

so 'question' is pretty much the most annoying old 97s song i can think of right now. it's the kind of song you like at first and then it gets on your nerves...but i really have come to dislike hearing it live, and a lot of people seem to think it's a highlight of the show. weird. anyway, i saw it used in a rerun this evening and it worked. good for rhett &co.

weekend plans

i don't know what you're planning on this weekend, but here's what i've got on tap:

i am going to turn into ben stiller, go surfing, and plot my next move over a nice bowl of vegan chicken noodle soup. i also might go shoe shopping. if there's time, i will investigate why it is that i drop the lid of the milk so frequently. i bought milk last night, and already dropped the lid on the ground today. i thought 'why don't i replace this with the lid of the last milk,' and then quickly realized that i had dropped that one on the kitchen floor not too long ago.

what gives?

another lyrical fragment

despite the fact that i started writing a song about a trophy girlfriend and her man last night, here's something else:


sometimes i feel i could leap tall buildings

right now i feel i could leap a wall

not the kinda that was built in china

but maybe something like four feet tall

maybe i'm on to something

the best thing about consumer products is that they break...so you can replace them. buying new stuff is more fun than having stuff. so maybe, we should just buy stuff and give it away. like rocking horses in the shape of pigs. oh yeah.

things that i might not be able to list:

-five things i decided not to purchase that i now wish i had bought

-four people who live within 10 miles of me whose birthdays i remember

-my five favorite movies

-the last three flavors of ice cream i have eaten

-the last three times i have cooked dinner for myself

the library card disappears

along with my keys. it's funny the things that you can keep on your key ring these days. i have a historic fear of losing my keys, so i'm not sure what convinced me that putting them in my back pocket was a good idea. at least i have another set...locked in the drawer of my desk at work. i just took out a bunch of books, so i'll have plenty to read.

you're just a twit

headlong
-michael frayn

this book fooled me at least twice into thinking it was something it wasn't. what it is, besides a foolish romp through the english countryside and dutch art history, is a bit boring. martin clay believes he has happened upon a lost treasure of european art, and he struggles to prove this to himself as he dives into the history of the painting he thinks he has discovered. along the way, he must outwit the country gentleman who owns the painting as he seeks to acquire it for a fraction of its true value.

while reading this book, i was also meditating on the question i asked previously about authorial skill and narrative voice. when writing from the first person, how does an author transcend the limits of this chosen narrator? introspection is one tool that provides some ability to comment on the scenes that unfold through one person's eyes, but not all characters would be as self-aware as the distractable professor who stumbles his way through this particular plot. for less literate heroes, the author must find ways to use words cleverly and yet avoid puncturing the image of this fictional world as it's related to us by the narrator. this means details and descriptions must be concise yet revealing, character flaws must fit the archetype the protagonist embodies, and every word has to come across as limited by the chosen narrator rather than the author's skill. headlong, of course, avoids this dilemma, but it does seem to spend too little time revealing the nature of secondary characters. the greatest weakness of this book, though, is the tedious length of martin's research sessions. perhaps we never find out much about anyone besides himself because the book is about a man who becomes increasingly self-absorbed as he pursues his dream at a pace that leaves everything else in his life behind. i felt like the other characters were interesting, however, and i wish i'd gotten to spend more time with them. the fact that i feel closer to them than martin ever does perhaps proves frayn's skill in relating more than martin ever tells us, or simply proves that being human is to reach out to those around us, even when they're fictional.

first impressions, or: i want to get in a boat, just not this one

last time i visited the library, i told myself not to feel obligated to read everything i was checking out; there just wasn't enough time to properly evaluate each title before heading out. here's how things looked 15 or 30 pages in.

all for love
-dan jacobson

all for love reads like a brilliant syntesis of a story your history teacher told in class and the salty side notes your pervert know-it-all buddy added under his breath. the subtle narrative glee that comes each time a hint of something is fleshed out into tabloidable anecdote is enough to prevent me from continuing.

the twenty-seventh city
-jonathan franzen

i was reading this while a very bizzarre man harangued a crowd that i wished i wasn't a part of. not that i had anything against the crowd, just the bizzarre man. somehow the book seemed to be messing with my head as surely as he was trying to do, and the funny part was i still figured i'd read the whole thing. this fictionalized tale of st. louis in 1984 starts out oddly enough, immediately shoving its world into a surreal parallel world that the author seems happy to insist is nothing unusual.

fizz

i just had to try something the other day. i was looking through the carbonated beverages at the grocery, and i saw this seltzer, which is certainly the most humble and affordable of its type. having grown fond of one particular brand of sparkling water, frequently and graciously provided by my former roommate, i decided it was time to make sure there's really a difference between that and something you can get for next to nothing. there is. i came home this evening, poured a little in a large glass, and was shocked at the first gulp. i suppose one shouldn't gulp anything if enjoyment is the goal, but the seltzer was clearly not the same as that more expensive stuff.

holding back

i saw the old 97s and it was amazing. before i made it to the concert, hearing them from across the tragic waste of the world trade center site, i was already drawn in. there's definitely something about a desperate dash through an urban maze to find the stage before you miss too much. then the amazing effect of turning that final corner and going from the 'silence' of the urban landscape to the amplified roar. a little tragedy in the relative indifference of the crowd, made the more noticeable in comparison to a confident, exhilarating performance from rhett & co. they closed with timebomb. i thought 'this is the best i've heard them play this song.'

because there's nothing better to do

my roommate and i sat around and read last night. i was happy that we were doing this, rather than something completely worthless. then i lost my willpower and turned on the tv. i watched a relatively inane movie and stayed up too late. i did, however, get a huge start on a fascinating and disturbing short story collection.

dear mr. president
-gabe hudson

i can't really say why i picked this off the shelf, especially because the design of the spine is pretty ugly. it's got a decent cover, some interesting quotes on the back from people who seem like they deserve some respect, and even a quote on the front. that can be a bit of a cause for pause, but i decided after reading two sentences of the first story that i would like this collection, and i did. it's disturbing, amusing, and has some great characters, most of whom are changed for the worse by war. it was little surprise to read that hudson himself had fought, but he also has an mfa and won some fancy award while getting it. further proof that good writing is about making your world come to life for others. hudson's specific use of familiar brands at critical points in some of the stories adds realism as it reminds that the protagonist's tortured life could exist within the reader's own world. at times, the backstories of the warriors in these tales seem odd, and their romantic interests seem cliched. there's no denying that hudson's a good writer though. i haven't figured out what an author is supposed to do to transcend the flaws of a narrating character. if there is something, hudson doesn't fully have a grip on it yet, but he's as likely as most to figure it out.

the obligatory reading update

tender is the night
-f. scott fitzgerald

fitzgerald may have taught me a few things about perspective. as the tale begins, i hate dick diver passionately. i can't get over his unfaithful heart. by shifting the narrative to diver's point of view, however, fitzgerald gets me into a more sympathetic mood and i struggle to maintain my dislike for dr. diver. his slow descent inspires empathy but allows me to despise him again. by the end, i am glad nicole turns against him, amused at the plot's unexpected intersection with a legendary sporting event, and genuinely happy that the divers didn't mend back into one like the buchanans.

six minutes to freedom
-kurt muse

i read books about the military because i think i might actually join. it's a long shot, but a long shot that i take seriously. i can't turn down a good war story, and the removal of noriega was a war i knew little about. i just remember something about the americans surrounding him and playing loud rock music to annoy him. muse is an american citizen jailed for his role in an underground radio station broadcasting denunciations of the panamanian ruler. his story is interesting, has some issues with narrative voice, and has a happy ending. the story is worth it, but there are moments when i find myself thinking 'the character who seems to be telling the story right now wouldn't talk like this.'

cross-x
-joe miller

the kansas city schools stink, but there's a storied debate program at one of the worst, and miller is telling that story. i didn't know anything about high school debate before, and here i found a reasonable introduction to this world as well as the world of central high school in the aforementioned city. the unfortunate thing about this book is i began to think of myself as somewhat similar to these kids - i'm feeling a bit lost and it's probably because i'm not particularly happy with the obvious path ahead of me. i feel like my attitude is a bit self-indulgent. the book, however, gets personal for miller as he grows intensely loyal to the central debaters and finds his eyes open and opinions shifting through the course of his time with them. the last page of the book is probably my favorite ending of a work of nonfiction.

class 11
-t.j. waters

government-approved tale of a post-9/11 spy's training experience. a bit macho, but in a lovable way. interesting subject matter that is related carefully; there's a good mixture of background and plot. waters gets a bit personal and self-righteous at times, like miller, but the good thing about this is that he cares. it's a pretty gung-ho book, but people who spy for our government should be enthusiastic about it.

sleeping in

earlier this week, i announced that i wouldn't be in until after 11 on thursday. it turned out to be 12. all i did was sleep in an hour, go to breakfast, and enjoy a leisurely meal and some conversation. i felt great. by about 1, i realized that i really would have gotten more out of the day if i'd gone to bed at a reasonable hour. for some reason, i found it necessary to take in a football match between wales and slovakia. i wasn't paying much attention, because of course there is no reason to watch tv until after 1am unless you're actually wasting the entire time online.

needless to say, european football is a great perk of pay television. i pretty much ignore the american professional league.

reluctant

i excitedly determined to read 'tender is the night' a week or so ago. i'd read an excerpt in a fitzgerald collection, but i'm still recovering from a teenage conviction that gatsby was the only of his novels worth reading. i'd read that somewhere, i guess. as i set in, the novel was fresh, though some memory of having turned those initial pages remained. then, somewhere in the process, i almost completely lost desire to read it. my fear is that i've read so much nonfiction lately that i can't take a good tale any more. the problem with nonfiction is, a lot of the stuff i've read isn't all that amazing, and perhaps that's given me an overly skeptical attitude. i'd say there are some vexing tendencies in fitzgerald's writing at times, and 'tender is the night' seems full of them. fortunately, as i have continued, the story draws me in every time i get past the more tedious parts.

unrelatedly, i am discovering today that, as i expected, i really shouldn't listen to the old 97s all that much unless i'm seeing them live. i think i've gotten so used to hearing the music live that recordings just aren't enough. maybe it's just the wrong music to listen to at work, especially when people are interrupting you every 5 minutes.

there was

a fire in the dark, and the fire in the dark said 'you'

he liked to kick his way to lessons and the teachers liked his

all of us were losing, it was clear from the way we spoke

some were under fire, others liked to, water buries hope

tech update

- is it possible to make video phone calls from your mobile?

- in every country but the united states. australia's had the technology since the year 2000.

summer's last hurrah

i have a hard time imagining a lot of things. i've imagined myself having a really lousy time at a tubing event scheduled for tomorrow, so i won't be going. i imagined myself absolutely loving camera obscura live, so i had to drag myself away from the post-work tv meltdown to see the show. i saw about six fantastic songs, and ran into a half dozen folks i know, took some photos, and generally loved the experience. i felt so good i actually tried to find some of the people i knew after they wandered past without seeing me.

on the way home, i had a nice chat with some strangers, and later finished one of the books i had been about to complete. i stopped to take pictures of the temple and was mildly surprised to obeserve another fellow who seemed to be doing the same thing. i failed to finishe the other book, but made a good enough dent to believe those final pages are going to fall soon. i should mention that the non-fiction book i did finish had a fantastic ending. i found it both satisfying and inspirational.

tv habits

- in choosing tv programs to watch, is elapsed time since the show was released a valid concern?

- yes, there's no reason you should be watching something that's, say, 15 years old.

pudding

-is it possible to eat pudding with chopsticks?

-yes, absolutely. good pudding can be eating with chopsticks.

i refuse to leave a mark

i'm not even sure it's worth talking about anymore.

questions for the clever

friends, how often do you hide the fact that you know something? it can be polite at times to listen to someone's story and not reveal that you already know the secret they're about to reveal. however, it's probably a bit worse when you pretend ignorance just because you're trying to seem a little more normal. i was talking with a coworker about a humorous promotional stunt done by the founder of a european company. i know his name, and almost didn't say it, because i didn't want to sound like a nerd. however, i still acted like i didn't know how to pronounce his name or like i was just guessing what his name really was. thinking back, it is kinda sad. i think there are moments when it's important to back down and not be insufferably smart, but i wonder if a lot of people do this too often.

obligatory disclaimer

for the unknown readers who are happy followers of reading list, please be advised that i have finished three or four books recently. it's been too long since a critique has been posted, but look for that shortly.

reawakening

somehow, things have been rather good this week. i'm not sure how to explain it. could be simply that the list of things that were significantly negative has dropped. maybe it's the result of giddiness brought on by too many nights of little sleep. i think rather that mysterious optimism has seeped out of any number of unknowns; an exciting confusion may be buoying me.

services

we heard an impassioned message from our bishop today; he told us that repentance is sacred and that all of us will have times when we struggle and use it as we come back to Christ. he also implored us to write down our most spiritual experiences so that we have something to look back to as a source of hope. there will be times when it is harder to receive the guidance and assurance we need, and we should prepare ourselves by leaving testimony now of the way the Lord has spoken to us.

loss

in the past 3 or 4 months, 3 of the hats i wear most often have gone the way of all the world. it's a shame, especially because they were all the most useful kind of hat - the one you can take anywhere, destroy, and generally abuse. i have definitely reached the point where it's time to buy a replacement. the hat i lost last night was a major loss. i'm not sure i'll ever see a black hat turn brown in such spectacular sunbleached squalor.

you could still smell the ink

i got home late, on a sweltering day when public transportation massively failed and i spent four and a half hours traveling to work, mostly on foot. there in the hallway, a large window air conditioning unit sat, with a hand lettered sign imploring someone to give this fully operable unit a good home. i took it...

flounder

i can see myself getting closer to some sort of life that makes sense. it's interesting when you go to job interviews and people seem to be saying 'you're better than this, do something more interesting.' i wonder how hard it would be to, say, only apply to jobs at universities and wait until something works out. i wonder what it means to admit you're on a somewhat odd path given what you really want to do, and what it takes to correct that track. is it easier to do it today, or can you try to excel at the 'wrong' thing and let that lead you to the right one?

ask an australian - making sense of my world

today's question:

is it appropriate to put pita bread in the toaster?


absolutely not! get this straight: toasters are made for round bread, not square. you might set the house on fire.

loyalty

since the family's favorite baseball team is in town, we went to the game last night and tonight. it has become clear to me that i'm much more interested in attending concerts than baseball games, but it's fun to be together with everybody. we do attract a fair amount of attention from various fans of the local team whenever we're on the road to see games. usually i have no identifying team gear, but my mom brought a hat out for me to wear and i figured i should wear it. my sister was making fun of people who were wearing stuff from teams that weren't playing, which is what i had originally wanted to do.

victoria

it's taken a year and a half plus and 6 rhett miller or old 97s shows, but i finally got to hear 'victoria' again. i'd say they really hit just about everything; maybe it's just because i had my heart set on the one song for so long, but i left extremely satisfied with the setlist...i suppose that means i should do a celebratory dance.