still 0 for the postseason

let's talk about things that are good...lemme see...recommended the new voxtrot song to a friend and then went home to listen to it since i just remembered i had liked it but thought there might have been too much profanity for my taste, but realized it's just embarrassingly um...i do not recommend that anyone listen to that song, ok? ok. that's not good.

er...my running shoes wore out. not good either

but my sleeping bag is back! yes! because if you can't get 25 years out of bedding, why are you buying it in the first place?

the busy life of the grad student

to do list:
check credit card balance
fold the world into a ball, a fairly paper-like ball, the sort of ball you would be satisfied with in a waste-basket shooting type situation, and describe how the center of that ball is a single individual
find out which author i am supposed to read for next week
post about the movie we watched in class
avoid eating cereal for a single day
email course selections for next term
brain story
5-part short fiction narrative
self-indulgent music-focused story
prioritize list of concerts to attend

lemonade times

i have two objections to your attempts to include yourself in my life. first, you aren't capable of intelligible speech. precisely no one is willing to sit here and decipher your terminology. perhaps you should hire a translator, otherwise the rest of the world is about to lose touch with you altogether. second, and more important, is your unwillingness to peel peaches. you've been around long enough to understand that peach lemonade is the blood that flows through my veins, as well as my main source of income. not everyone can station themselves within my circle of influence, because there just isn't enough time for me to watch out for everyone in this city. i've been hiding out for a few months now, looking for somewhere more permanent. you'll have to believe me when i say that it isn't getting any easier to track down a destination suitable for everyone i'd be interested in bringing along. it's like plastic rabbits. you have a yard, you can only put so many plastic rabbits in it before it looks ridiculous. you have more plastic rabbits, you need a bigger yard. i'm not interested in a bigger yard, or more plastic rabbits. i'm especially not interested in plastic rabbits that can't peel peaches.

oh those sharks

i like sharks. i like reading about sharks, feeding sharks, and making home movies with my pet sharks. most sharks are nice once you get to know them. a shark friend of mine gave me cookies for my birthday last year, and they were the tastiest cookies i have personally eaten in my life. because of my deep respect for sharks, i do not eat shark meat. i have considered moving to an all-carnivore diet, since it seems fair to eat animals that eat other animals. i don't mean the sneaky way either, where they have ground up bits of some other type of animal mixed in their feed. thus, chicken, bacon, pork, beef, ham, and such things are out. i'm not huge on seafood, but that's probably where i could find something to eat that fits my new dietary guidelines. maybe they serve eel some places. eels seem like they're scary enough that they probably eat things. i'm not sure i want to eat an eel though. is it possible that octopi are carnivores?

you and your sidewalks

you're walking by a fire hydrant, but it isn't a fire hydrant. what else could this actually be? is there a reason for something, small and cylindrical in nature, to be stuck on the street. it won't budge. in fact, your foot is hurting severely now. kicking that thing was a bad idea.

with the slight limp you have acquired, you wince your way further, past stains and signs and the ordinary sort of litter found in big cities. you're drawn now, caught just barely by a feeling. not one you can explain. your ears aren't tingling, or searching for a far-off sound. your eyes focus not on a destination but on the idea of finding this new goal. you have no idea what it might be. still it draws you. no one is baking fresh rolls to entice your overdeveloped sense of smell. you can almost feel a breeze on your skin, though you are wearing a thick coat. something is almost there, dancing out of reach. the subtlest of indications. a call not truly felt, but barely perceived.

listen up a minute

Never enter a long-term reverse donut eating contest with someone who is experimenting with a raw food diet

It is helpful to limit the number of musical artists you follow. I will now halfheartedly attempt to ignore:
OK, couldn't comeup with am honest list. Be stronger than I am.

If you want to avoid secret personality tests, never tell an English major what your favorite book is.

Five years from now it is unlikely you'll be wishing you'd spent more time playing Mansion Impossible. On the other hand, if you had a better
score than anyone you know, that fact will matter to maybe four people. That's worth something.

School was more fair when class was the only place you got assignments.

The difference between undergrad and grad school is that it's way harder as a grad student to avoid courses and professors that confuse you.

If philosophy scares you, do not attend a graduate program in the liberal arts.

Never cook anything for the first time as part of a date.

When you throw out your running shoes, save the insoles to stick in your cool sneakers that have no padding.

When you're opening the final box of Crisp Six, alarms should go off: it is time to buy more cereal.

Hobbies are expensive. On the other hand, they provide endless fodder for conversation with people who pursue the same hobbies.

Bit and beaten

Tired of sitting. It has to be hard cowering all day behind the fences I built for you. Protection from little other than fortune. Harbor to the slowest of deaths. I see little benefit to our strategy. A watcher and a scared silent child.