Thursday, October 22, 2009

the busy life of the grad student

to do list:
check credit card balance
fold the world into a ball, a fairly paper-like ball, the sort of ball you would be satisfied with in a waste-basket shooting type situation, and describe how the center of that ball is a single individual
find out which author i am supposed to read for next week
post about the movie we watched in class
avoid eating cereal for a single day
email course selections for next term
brain story
5-part short fiction narrative
self-indulgent music-focused story
prioritize list of concerts to attend

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

lemonade times

i have two objections to your attempts to include yourself in my life. first, you aren't capable of intelligible speech. precisely no one is willing to sit here and decipher your terminology. perhaps you should hire a translator, otherwise the rest of the world is about to lose touch with you altogether. second, and more important, is your unwillingness to peel peaches. you've been around long enough to understand that peach lemonade is the blood that flows through my veins, as well as my main source of income. not everyone can station themselves within my circle of influence, because there just isn't enough time for me to watch out for everyone in this city. i've been hiding out for a few months now, looking for somewhere more permanent. you'll have to believe me when i say that it isn't getting any easier to track down a destination suitable for everyone i'd be interested in bringing along. it's like plastic rabbits. you have a yard, you can only put so many plastic rabbits in it before it looks ridiculous. you have more plastic rabbits, you need a bigger yard. i'm not interested in a bigger yard, or more plastic rabbits. i'm especially not interested in plastic rabbits that can't peel peaches.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

oh those sharks

i like sharks. i like reading about sharks, feeding sharks, and making home movies with my pet sharks. most sharks are nice once you get to know them. a shark friend of mine gave me cookies for my birthday last year, and they were the tastiest cookies i have personally eaten in my life. because of my deep respect for sharks, i do not eat shark meat. i have considered moving to an all-carnivore diet, since it seems fair to eat animals that eat other animals. i don't mean the sneaky way either, where they have ground up bits of some other type of animal mixed in their feed. thus, chicken, bacon, pork, beef, ham, and such things are out. i'm not huge on seafood, but that's probably where i could find something to eat that fits my new dietary guidelines. maybe they serve eel some places. eels seem like they're scary enough that they probably eat things. i'm not sure i want to eat an eel though. is it possible that octopi are carnivores?