Wednesday, September 30, 2009

you and your sidewalks

you're walking by a fire hydrant, but it isn't a fire hydrant. what else could this actually be? is there a reason for something, small and cylindrical in nature, to be stuck on the street. it won't budge. in fact, your foot is hurting severely now. kicking that thing was a bad idea.

with the slight limp you have acquired, you wince your way further, past stains and signs and the ordinary sort of litter found in big cities. you're drawn now, caught just barely by a feeling. not one you can explain. your ears aren't tingling, or searching for a far-off sound. your eyes focus not on a destination but on the idea of finding this new goal. you have no idea what it might be. still it draws you. no one is baking fresh rolls to entice your overdeveloped sense of smell. you can almost feel a breeze on your skin, though you are wearing a thick coat. something is almost there, dancing out of reach. the subtlest of indications. a call not truly felt, but barely perceived.

Friday, September 25, 2009

listen up a minute

Never enter a long-term reverse donut eating contest with someone who is experimenting with a raw food diet

It is helpful to limit the number of musical artists you follow. I will now halfheartedly attempt to ignore:
OK, couldn't comeup with am honest list. Be stronger than I am.

If you want to avoid secret personality tests, never tell an English major what your favorite book is.

Five years from now it is unlikely you'll be wishing you'd spent more time playing Mansion Impossible. On the other hand, if you had a better
score than anyone you know, that fact will matter to maybe four people. That's worth something.

School was more fair when class was the only place you got assignments.

The difference between undergrad and grad school is that it's way harder as a grad student to avoid courses and professors that confuse you.

If philosophy scares you, do not attend a graduate program in the liberal arts.

Never cook anything for the first time as part of a date.

When you throw out your running shoes, save the insoles to stick in your cool sneakers that have no padding.

When you're opening the final box of Crisp Six, alarms should go off: it is time to buy more cereal.

Hobbies are expensive. On the other hand, they provide endless fodder for conversation with people who pursue the same hobbies.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Bit and beaten

Tired of sitting. It has to be hard cowering all day behind the fences I built for you. Protection from little other than fortune. Harbor to the slowest of deaths. I see little benefit to our strategy. A watcher and a scared silent child.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i have no explanations for failure

some friends of mine like embarrassing stories. how is this for an embarrassing story? i emailed my professor a link to 'stuff white people like' and he never responded. a lot of good things have happened lately, which overshadows such small matters. i used the word 'technocrat' in a conversation, providing nearly as much satisfaction as when i paid for my utilities via a magic trick. over the weekend, i was able to embarrass myself while ably concealing the degree to which i deserved to be mocked for my error.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

get that pen out right now

you've got your smiles, your grins, and your occasional ringing laughter. those ought to be enough for just about anyone, right? i can picture you more and more the way you're growing into this stuff. i expect the utility company will be checking your meters next month and sending you quite the bill for all of this. it's sad sometimes the way they profit from happiness, but i will take the bad that comes along with all this good. my brother actually has a neighbor who disconnected himself from just about everything; he walks around these days looking for anyone who'll react to the leaden expression on his face. i tried to lend him a mask my oldest brother gave me when he stopped trick or treating, so at least he can look remarkable, which may be more important than simply maintaining a human appearance. no one questions these days when there's a new game in town, but let me assure you - those smiles are not going to fade from the vogue just because someone's given yet another option to each and every household on the block. remember, you are one person, just a speck, but that speck gets a chance several times a day to broadcast this or that to all the other microdots out there. maybe that should be a smile. okay, i'll admit that isn't necessarily very different from your usual sales pitches, but like i said, i'm an independent contractor. i'm just here to turn on the tap; they don't give me money for anything else. you can shut it down after a week; doesn't cut into my check. still, as a friend, let me tell you, i'd stick with this game for the long term.