listen up a minute

Never enter a long-term reverse donut eating contest with someone who is experimenting with a raw food diet

It is helpful to limit the number of musical artists you follow. I will now halfheartedly attempt to ignore:
OK, couldn't comeup with am honest list. Be stronger than I am.

If you want to avoid secret personality tests, never tell an English major what your favorite book is.

Five years from now it is unlikely you'll be wishing you'd spent more time playing Mansion Impossible. On the other hand, if you had a better
score than anyone you know, that fact will matter to maybe four people. That's worth something.

School was more fair when class was the only place you got assignments.

The difference between undergrad and grad school is that it's way harder as a grad student to avoid courses and professors that confuse you.

If philosophy scares you, do not attend a graduate program in the liberal arts.

Never cook anything for the first time as part of a date.

When you throw out your running shoes, save the insoles to stick in your cool sneakers that have no padding.

When you're opening the final box of Crisp Six, alarms should go off: it is time to buy more cereal.

Hobbies are expensive. On the other hand, they provide endless fodder for conversation with people who pursue the same hobbies.