turtles are trickier than you think

i was on a walk through the woods last weekend, when i was suddenly hit on the shoulder by a falling tree branch. generally, time outdoors provides me with a chance to relax and to mentally reorganize my compact disc collection. i think i own about three hundred various recordings, and since i never was into that giant jukebox craze, i have to be careful about how i arrange them in order to make sure that i have access to the most appropriate music each week. since my calm thoughts were broken up by the scrape of the large limb that struck me, i completely lost my focus and had to stop right there in order to catch my breath and recover my senses. i was lucky to find a small, almost pillow-like rise in the ground, and ample leaf cover that i arranged over me as i lay down and closed my eyes. before i knew it, i was dreaming about a kitten stuck in a tree. the kitten, i soon discovered, was actually in the clutches of several turtles, who apparently had climbed the tree to share a meal. in my dream, i was shocked by the potential sight of turtles eating a kitten, but i had to know whether that was really what was about to happen. fortunately, as soon as the first turtle began chomping on the kitten's paw, it escaped. the turtles then proceeded to sneak up on a raccoon that was also up in the tree. at this point in my dream, i was startled awake by the falling of acorns, which melted into the leaves covering me like hailstones hitting a hot stove. i had no idea where i was at that moment, having been so distracted by the vivid nature of my dream that i could not find my way through the woods. as i brushed myself off, i realized that i had forgotten to change my clothing before commencing my walk, and that i was now wearing a dirt-adorned dress shirt, complete with french cuffs. i seemed at least to have removed my cufflinks before leaving my house, which was a good thing as they are secretly worth approximately seven hundred dollars. i don't always like to have money in the bank, and so i find it useful to spend money on things that can easily be pawned in case of emergency. although i was disappointed to have carelessly worn my nicest blue shirt into a bed of leaves, i smiled to myself at the wisdom that had prevented me from losing the valuable cufflinks. the sun gradually set as i stood in the doorway to my room later that evening, watching the rays of fading light flicker past two lifeless eyes staring at me from the shelf above my bed.