Wednesday, August 05, 2009

don't mention beets

i've never been able to convince myself that film was the industry for me. i met a studio executive once who insisted that each person's favorite scene was cut out of rented movies before they were delivered to their door. "it's a tier-based system, get used to it," she said, and i kept thinking there was more to that. i have a problem with people who insist that they understand things better than i do, although i realize this is a bit of an issue. of course, doctors have never worked well for me, as they go about in their stain-advertising outfits refusing to look you in the eye. i think in order for medical care to work for me, i would need to make a primary visit, take a few days to conduct some research on the diseases i'd been given, and go back with suggestions on my potential treatment. i guess, with my outlook on the world, life is more about forcing myself to learn than anything else. for all the efforts i had to make finding information about the film business, one might think i'd be able to explain how to raise funding or secure a distribution deal for an independent project. lisa tended to talk more about shellfish than celluloid, a habit i can forgive her for as she grew up in a coastal area and was immensely nostalgic. if it is our homes that make us who we are, i certainly have to thank her parents for avoiding areas of the country where more important foods are grown. food talk disgusts me, not in the moment so much as because i hate knowing about what i eat. can you imagine staying up past one, looking for information about pesticide technology, just so you can hold your own with a dirt-brain college student who just happens to be the son or daughter of professors who teach viola performance at an agricultural school?

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