Monday, August 17, 2009

results were negative

sorry i missed the thing last night. i was on the phone with your parents and they kept shouting. i realize that i lost the pretzel-spitting contest at the stadium last week, but i didn't think being your butler for a week would involve anything this serious. please just give them the toaster back; you already have seven. i don't think anyone other than you is interested in the great wall of toast project, because basically most people have no idea why you would want to wake up surrounded by the synchronized popping of freshly browned toast, even if you are hungry in the morning and like to eat in bed. i think it's more the conceptual part of it that people haven't grasped, because i am guessing you wouldn't be spending all that time on freecycle if you weren't inspired by something more than the timely arrival of breakfast.

anyway, your dad calmed down a bit when i told him you'd reconsider the atlanta trip this fall. i know you're planning on being in a lot of one-act plays and the rehearsals will be demanding on your time, but this is your family. it might not help the cookie controversy get fixed any quicker, but at least you and your sister will have a chance to talk about something. seriously, i think the massachusetts state legislature did a lot of people a disservice by not making a real decision, but eventually the two of you will have to work something out. meanwhile, after your parents hung up, molly came by and asked if you still needed the hairdryer. i hope you aren't trying to toast anything with that, because this seems to be getting beyond eccentric and more into loony. did you see the rebroadcast of the game though? molly and i watched most of it, because we were trying to remember if the part where you decided to eat a hundred swedish fish was when the announcer got bored and started talking about jelly donuts or something about performance enhancing drugs that made you think you could pick up the couch if you ate enough sugar. we got totally distracted though because they kept showing these ads for a local deli that uses the names of us presidents in a rap. it's intoxicating; i think i'm going to make a ringtone of myself singing the chorus. i'd ask you to clarify the swedish fish thing since it's such a good story and i can't tell it right now without knowing, but molly told me we could watch some show about something else tomorrow and figure it out. oh, and the doctor's office called.


becca said...

fiction, i'm guessing.

seth said...

yeah, none of my friends like toast as much as the character in the story.