Sunday, August 27, 2006

the carp starts to fish

this is supposed to be a series, running at the bottom of the emails for church. i am not sure exactly how to start writing a series entitled, "the card starts to fish," but it was my idea in the first place.

carp live long lives alone in the sea. this isn't actually true, but in stories they may. at least, that is, in this story. theobald was a carp, a freshwater carp, but he lived in the ocean. many years ago, he stumbled upon a newfound love. not the romantic kind, but the kind that steals your minutes one by one as you dive deeper into it, until it becomes a permanent part of your life. you see, theobald discovered fishing.

besides being incredibly odd, the main problem with this beginning is the language. "steals your minutes one by one" is not a phrase that should necessarily be used in a story that is only there for fun at the end of your email. nothing at all happens, and we aren't really introduced to the character, scene, or plot. however, if it is going to be a participatory serial, that is no problem. i would like to see if anyone picks this up and runs with it; my plan was to let them do whatever they want. theobald, however, may never see the inside of that email. i might just have to come up with something more fitting.

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