Tuesday, October 17, 2006

wishing away

it's all right to wish for things, of course, but how often are they things we really need long term? is it more important to expend energy on dreams, will that bring us closer to something substantial? on the way home today, i had a headache and wished to be home. other times, i'm hot, sweaty, and thirsty; all i want is cold water. the water straight from the fridge is simply amazing on nights like that, drunk in the dark most likely, but what good does it do in the long run? when i'm ill, i believe i focus most profoundly on finding some comforts that will get me through the misery. that's fine; it seems like the excess energy of trying to think of something bigger isn't healthy, that i need to relax to recover. however, i believe this sort of behavior extends to most days. i seem to think i am owed some period of down time at the end of the day - 8 hours' work, 1 hour lunch, and 100 minutes commuting. that seems normal, to want to come home and just throw everything in a heap and relax. is it bad though? am i carrying this to the extreme, where my ideal day consists of work, relaxation, a few meals, and nothing else? the office is a social place, so much of the social requirements of one's average day can be met there, can't they? but what are we really hoping for? in all that time i spend bored or killing time at work, or taking a break because it's so hard to actually be productive for that many hours, what should i be accomplishing? is it planning the next stage of my life? making that great idea become reality? building skills? "adding value?" maybe the world really is run by nuts; the rest of us can't be crazy enough to try that hard. if we are, maybe we'll lose something in the process.

No comments: